I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
BRING THE BAGELS
Randomize
