OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
