im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
