Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
