My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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