I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize