Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
