bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Someone signed my nipple.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
