Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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