i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
