I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
