I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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