Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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