Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
