no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
