she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I need a burrito and a hug.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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