My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
i out mim tonsoeep
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