Come see our sink grown plant.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
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