is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
