I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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