Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
