Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
