It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
