He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
