He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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