There is no way he is gay with that hair.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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