her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
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