Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
