i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
