It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Enjoy the penises
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
