it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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