I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize