My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
