I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
