i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
