dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
