Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
