just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
