You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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