it wasn't lemon gatorade
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize