We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
