"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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