when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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