So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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