Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
