Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
