yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
