I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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