i just made my gag reflex go away.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
