there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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