When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
