Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
