Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
