Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
