how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
