Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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