you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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