mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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