I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize