i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
